My dreams have become a cause for concern lately; now I know to some, hearing about other people’s night time imaginings is a distinct bore, but I love ’em. They can be hilarious, confusing, peculiar, but always interesting; and I like to seek out the symbolism, whether in my own dreams, or the dreams of others. The general theme and running joke of mine for some time are the exploits of my apparent alter ego and her preference for those of the opposite sex. I was starting to wonder if I’m as gay as I always thought I was.
Initially I began dreaming of the only men I found physically attractive, Beckham, Somerhalder, Pavelka, Hartnett, Tatum…..oddly Tom Daley crept in one time, don’t ask, I am unable to explain that one (apart from him also being gay I’m probably old enough to be his mum)….oh, and Jason Manford….anyway, they were all in love with me and wanted to be with me. I took enormous comfort in their adoration and affection, although it wasn’t similarly reciprocated. Very recently I dreamt about a male work colleague; it’s been years since I dreamt of a friend in that way, especially a fella. Recounting these shenanigans was just for fun; to tell my straight girlfriends just how much hot Hollywood action this lesbo was getting. Recently though, I had been getting somewhat perturbed.
Googling, ‘straight dreams when you’re gay,’ wasn’t particularly helpful; but it did provide a glimmer of hope. I wondered if my spirit guides were trying to warn me of what is to come, so that I’ll be less shocked if I was to ever fall for a man in reality. Bizarrely I have to say……it was working. I have been bombarded each night with straight love, straight intimacy, so much so that my waking mind has opened to the notion that yes, it is a possibility. When you fall for a person you fall for their soul, not their packaging; as an open minded person, I have to be open to the notion, although I’m not at all keen on the idea! Yet dreams being more to do with symbolism than hard fact, perhaps it’s more of a reflection on my attitude towards love and relationships. I have been told by a clairvoyant that the person I end up with doesn’t fit the bill of my usual type, and you can’t get more opposite than the opposite sex! However, it’s more likely that my subconscious is opening my mind to allow freer ideas of what my future love will be. (Thanks Google search.) As a result of my subconscious hijinks, the wall I have successfully built over the years has finally cracked, revealing shards of light from the land of love beyond. Crack on I say!
Since the colleague dream, after which I began putting this brain fart to paper, I had gone to bed the next night asking the Universe what it was playing at. I advised my guides that even if I did fall for a man it would never work….the physicality of such a relationship is incomprehensible. I needn’t have worried too much; my prayers were answered and I awoke with a smile on my face. I dreamt that I had organised an Orange Is The New Black convention in town and various pub/club after parties. Every single person in my dream, filling the town, was a lesbian; not a straight woman or man to be seen and I found myself quite in my element. If I needed an affirmation of my sexuality then that was definitely it!