So I board my train at Manchester Piccadilly this afternoon, homeward bound, and already I need the loo. Anxiously I wait until the aisle is clear, just after we set off, and I make my move. I don’t like walking down the aisles of trains; there is never a great deal of room; people always spill their body parts away from the confines of their seat and arm rest causing obstructions; not to mention the tilting motion that sends you ribs first into the Mickey Mouse ear that is the hand rest on the head of the seat in front. Knowing I had only five minutes or so until the first stop I took my chance. Two carriages! I had sat in Coach C so as to be close to the shop for cups of tea at one end and near to the loo at the other; thus minimising the amount of trauma as either my belly or my arse collides with unsuspecting fellow travellers. Alas, the loo was the far end of the carriage behind; but I made it there and back to my seat in good time and, surprisingly, without human contact.
Moving on from Stockport, the aisle seat next to mine is, thankfully, still available. (Yes I know that’s very anti-social of me, but one does prefer the opportunity to spread out.) It’s now a while until our Stoke stop……time for a brew methinks. When I returned to my seat I automatically pulled down the ‘table’ of the empty seat next to me. I can never manage to lower my own as I have too much belly in the way. (Now I have always been a big girl, but even writing that creates disbelief that I have let myself increase in volume continuously for so long). I prepared my tea, leaning over to do it, and then thought, ‘I wonder?’ Looking back towards my own table, I lowered it and, would you believe? It fit! It’s true there is never a great deal of room on the trains, but there is considerably less when you have size issues; i.e. you’re a lardy like me. I’m pretty sure Virgin haven’t suddenly redesigned their Pendolinos since I was last on one, so it can only mean one thing…..my diet is working.
In fact, I have lost 15lb in the first three weeks of my plan and have lost another five since being at my mums. (Official weigh in tomorrow morning, on my own scales.) My jeans are too big, the notches on my belt are steadily moving inward. My size has visibly decreased and I couldn’t be more pleased with myself! I have been so unhappily obese for so many years and now I have found something that works. I know there are a lot of other factors involved; timing, self focus, an awakening; all these things have played a part. Just where will this go? What next?
A few years ago I went to Alton Towers. I absolutely love thrill rides, but I knew from the off that I wouldn’t fit on any. I tried one……nope, had to get off. I wasn’t humiliated; I think to be humiliated at something like that means you are grossly in denial about it. I wasn’t in denial about my size. I have known the brutal and emotional reality of it for many years, even though I could never seem to successfully change it. I was disappointed that I couldn’t enjoy the ride. I did manage to get on one though so it wasn’t a total loss. This is something I can’t wait to do. Something that is so normal for so many people. As soon as I am small enough to go on them, I’m going to book myself in for a long weekend in one of those themed hotel rooms and go on every ride, every day, twice!!!
I think when I get home I might even try some clothes on that I haven’t worn for a while, I might be pleasantly surprised!
Must dash, need the loo again.
To be continued…….