A Ponderance

Is it really better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all? 

So far, all that love has taught me is how to feel the most disappointed in life.  Of course, love has brought me happiness, but as with most things, including life itself, it has been only temporary. It prompts a pros and cons exercise.  We are all aware of both, but if we can’t be promised a forever love, wouldn’t we be better off having never known what love is?  While we have it, life has more meaning; more purpose; more joy.  There is no comparison – a life with love, togetherness, companionship, intimacy, a belonging, carries far more significance than a life alone.  That isn’t to say that singledom can’t be fulfilling, or indeed, freeing but it’s just not the same when coming home to an empty house as it is returning to a loving home.

When we love and lose it creates a void; irreparable damage.  Essential, it may be; character building, strengthening you could argue; but if we never loved, we’d never have that void; we’d never know the damage of a broken heart; we’d never truly know what it feels like to know what we’re missing.  Is that so bad?

If you could swallow that, “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind,” pill, would you?  If losing love was so devastating that when offered the chance to wipe all previous relationship knowledge, would you seize that opportunity?  Would you opt to wipe the memory slate clean?  Or would you choose to accept the pain and fondly remember the good times, forever grateful to have at least had the chance to know how love feels?


2 thoughts on “A Ponderance

  1. Memories of the loved one brings with it both deep sadness and happiness, both pain and joy…and we ask ourselves: Is it all worth it? Maybe not…maybe the pain of separation is too much…but with time we understand that in the long run, we are all doomed…everything is transitory…so even for a briefest moment, if happiness in the form of love presents itself, why not accept it?…
    For we know full well that this euphoric feeling is just as ephemeral as the pain of separation that might follow.


  2. Love and hurt are everywhere. Have you ever considered that life can break ones heart more than love? It can cause a void much greater than the loss of love. It can alter every single thought and idea and moral that you held dear and tear you apart inside. In life and with love it’s important to make the best of it if you want to enjoy it to the max. I’d never erase my past; the pain and the pleasure. Why would I want to live as though I’m not living?
    It’s neither good nor bad to know what we’re missing because we are missing so much; we surely cant experience everything in this lifetime. Life is temporary and if life is then so is love.


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