Comfortably Single vs Desperately Dating

It is often wondered just why I am still single.  People that truly care about me will ask me why, when I am so deserving of someone, am I alone?  Earlier today my choice to not date was put into question by a complete stranger and it made me stop and think……why don’t I date?  Why am I alone?

I was upset by this stranger, momentarily.  The idea that someone, who knows nothing about me, could challenge my lifestyle choice as though they somehow knew something I didn’t, was a bit too presumptious for my liking.  I don’t date because I don’t believe in it.  It’s just another Americanism, embraced by the U.K. and it doesn’t suit everyone; least of all me.

I once relented and agreed to a date.  Worst date in the history of all dates, as it transpired.  I won’t detail the quite unimaginable eye opening scenarios that unfolded but, suffice to say if there was ever a book on dating etiquette, she most certainly would’ve only used it to prop up a wonky table leg.  Ultimately it confirmed to me why I don’t like dates.  As a good friend recently said, “Dating is a strange creation.  Putting two people in a situation they can, usually, ill afford; in a town one of them doesn’t know; acting totally unnaturally.”  This is a sentiment I wholeheartedly agree with.  What on Earth is the point?  I understand it from an entertainment point of view; it certainly does provide some eccentric stories to relay around the dinner table; but other than that, I see no benefit.

I am a traditionalist and I make no apologies for it.  With my own experiences in love and loss, I am now at a point where I am perfectly comfortable alone.  I really never thought I’d say that.  I believe in love; I believe in real, true, lasting and fated love.  I believe that all love is predestined; and I believe that there is someone out there for me who will become the love of my life.  I have yet to meet her.  Why settle for anything less in the meantime?

Being asked, “Why are you still single?” isn’t a reflection on me; it’s more a reflection of the people currently in my life; or, to be more accurate, the lack of anyone ‘special’ in my life.  I am single, because my heart doesn’t, currently, desire anyone that I could actually have a relationship with.  When the time comes, I meet someone and that spark happens…..that is when I’ll pursue it.  That is when my ticker will kick in and I’ll have an interest in someone again.

I don’t believe that I would find my ‘one’ from dating.  And, truly, with so, so many people in the world finding The One is almost impossible.  You know what they say……’stop looking and you will find it.’  Love, real love, will find us, all in good time.



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