What a God send it is to finally see clear skies through the fog.
Today I start another new phase of my ever changing life. Currently I am en route to a new residence in familiar settings; a changed woman from when previously there in 2011.
My life, my horizons, my beliefs have all been broadened by the decisions I’ve made, the love I have gained, the experiences afforded me; all the joy and pain of the last two years. What a ride! I am, in so many ways, lucky to have had so much good, in spite of the negatives – nothing in life is perfect; but much of it is to do with perspective, reaction, an understanding that if you believe you are where you should be, even if it’s not totally ideal for you, then everything has it’s purpose, whether you are aware of it or not. There is comfort in that. Knowing that, for whatever reason, I am where I am meant to be, is what strengthens me to carry on; as well as hope of course. I am ever hopeful for better days; for realising dreams.
You have to love yourself enough to let go of all the bad things; the pain of loss; lamenting; as hard as it is. There can be no future if you live in the past; and, sometimes, you have to be ruthless; you have to cut people out; leave a place behind, anything in order to forget the sadness and move on. It doesn’t mean you have stopped caring for, or loving that person/place, (nothing could be further from the truth), it just means you are putting yourself first. An entitlement of which we all possess.
A new beginning is always full of excitement and I have had many new beginnings – but, the truth of it is that, everyday, whether it brings change or routine, can be seen as a new beginning. A new job, a move, a new love interest, any of these are obvious changes with potential for fresh excitement; but simply waking up to a new day can prove the start of something amazing.
So I look forward to today’s fresh start. I have made exciting plans, living the life I was so used to, galavanting around, living to the best of my ability. I will forever miss what I had but I choose to inhale the love I still feel, the happiness and thankfulness for all that I had; and I exhale the sadness and pain so that I may welcome future happiness. I deserve it.