We’ve all had one of those moments……………..you have your phone in your hand; a blank text message displayed; above, your ex’s name and teeny photo denoting who you are about to write to……and you begin a sentimental text. You miss her, you want her to be happy, you want her to look after herself and you want her to know you are here for her; again. You end it with a string of kisses, a love heart and reread it five times. It bring tears to your eyes. The phone shakes in your trembling hand, eyes so watery the text is now blurred.
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Best not send one.
Start a new message, having thought of a different angle of approach. Tell her you hope she’s looking after herself and that you want to be friends soon, once the dust settles. Continue until you are happy with the new, more practical, but still heartfelt message. Reread three times.
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Something just keeps kicking in. A feeling of, what’s the point? You had a relationship, surely she knows how you feel? Will the text not be received well? Will it mess with her head? Does she even care anymore, or will it be just like any other bleating text from an ex. (But I was different from the others wasn’t I?)
Is this a case of put up and shut up? Or should you always reveal how you are feeling? It’s not about expressing undying love when there’s no chance of a reunion, a person should have more self-respect than that…..this is about just telling someone you care, that you love them, that you want so much more for them, even though things didn’t work out for you as a couple.
It’s true that if you are, for example, in unrequited love, there isn’t a thing on this Earth that you can do or say to make your beloved fall for you. Not a single thing. (Been there.) Similarly, there is nothing you can do or say to pluck someone out of their own unhealthy lifestyle choices. And God knows I have tried. No amount of words can ever halt that process. It has to come from the individual, from within.
She must know that I love her. She must know that I want the best for her. She must know that I miss her so much. She must know that I want her friendship, an equal friendship; but instead of me saying it, maybe this time the Universe will see my blog and pass the message on.